end of the blog

i have been avoiding the blog.  i still don't like the word "blog" and now i just don't like looking at it anymore.  it takes me to a bad place and time.  the good - great really - news is that times are much better.

the bed is gone from downstairs, we are sleeping in our room and the girls have theirs to themselves again.  everything is moving forward, which seems strangely to be the same as moving backward - to before this all happened.

kristen is walking.  it has been a long time coming and it's still just for very short distances, but she is walking.  every time i see her on her feet without assistance it's like a dream, or waking up from one.  it is a bittersweet time. we continue to be haunted by the senselessness of it all but elation is there too.

i wish i could have ended this blog with some advice on how to avoid this kind of health catastrophe.  but all i am left with is an overwhelming sense of the fragility of life.  a dear friend was recently diagnosed with a very serious form of cancer and is right now recovering from surgery.  almost as a perfect metaphor, another friend was mugged.  i  can't make sense of these things and I am not trying.  sometimes, just walking down the street, you get mugged.