"its friday march 19th. this morning i went down to the operating room for surgery again. they have a little holding area that overlooks the university of pennsylvania playing field, a football field.
the other day ben and i were in that same room preparing for surgery and it was a bit rainy and it reminded me of an m night shyamalan movie. it was very somber. i saw bruce willis in a drenched slicker each time i closed my eyes. ben rested his head on the bedrail.
early this morning, they wheeled me down there and the sun hadn't risen and i was lying there alone in my bed, breathing, trying to calm down. the sun started to rise and bathed my body in this wonderful warm sunlight. as it rose, it somehow managed to make me brighter and more illuminated. did i look like a caravaggio? if i had lifted into the air, it would not have shocked me. i felt glorious for that minute.
i felt warm, like god was shining right on me and i felt really encouraged and blessed. and i was alone but not alone. i felt taken care of and i was able to take that and use it to fuel me through yet another surgery.
that's today, friday march 19th."
Reading your beautiful words from Peru. I check in every night - thinking of you always. Keep fighting the good fight. You are an inspiration. Lots of love to you all. Xx Vanessa
ReplyDeleteHi Kristen --
ReplyDeleteWe have had so many gorgeous days recently; I am so glad to hear that a joyous sliver of sunshine reached you when you needed it most. I hope the surgery went well.
I also wish I was brainy enough to build on your poignant Caravaggio reference, but the only art form I am really qualified to comment on right now is brackets! You are solidly in the middle of the pack, ahead of Larry and behind Martha, who is in first place. (I'm almost positive Martha didn't make those picks. Her husband is the sports person in that household.)
So keep rooting for Kansas. :-) We are all rooting for you!
Hope this cheers you up,
Kathy
Dear Kristen, It was good to hear your words and feel your presence through space. The warm light heals, and may you continue to feel the love and engergy we are all sending you. Another person at work, Bertha has started praying for you and others continue as do I. May you both know and feel the love I send. Love, mom Caryl
ReplyDeleteKristen, you are glorious. Your words brought me to tears. Tears of joy and gratitude, that your heart is so open that you can feel that warm light and know that you are not alone. That takes an incredible amount of strength, and I'm so thankful for that because it will carry you through this. I think about you every day, and pray that you will soon be back at home with Ben and the girls. Take care, my amazing friend!
ReplyDeleteLove,
Erin
Kristen:
ReplyDeleteKathy has correctly outed me. Just as I did last year, I outsourced my brackets. I would not be surprised if my victories are short-lived, since the real bracketogist in my house has picked Baylor to go to the Final Four.
I've definitely been thinking of you over the past few weeks and am impressed with the resilience you've shown so far. I know things must still be awfully tough, but keep fighting the good fight!
Dear Kristen,
ReplyDeleteYour strength and courage are so inspiring,and now you go and dictate beautiful, thoughtful, poignant prose off the top of your head! You are one impressive woman, my friend.
I'm so glad that the sunny days we had last week in the Chicago area reached you in Philly and helped you get through yet another surgery.
And if it turns grey there again, as it has here today, please let the love and support of your friends and family provide metaphorical rays of light to power you through the next few days.
Much love,
Tara