four weeks ago this all started. it was clara's birthday party in the poconos and kristen missed it, lying feverish in bed. her leg had not yet started hurting and it would be four more days until things went completely haywire. she has been in pain ever since. she's had a fever off and on ever since. she has fought this thing with strength and persistence ever since. i imagine her pain and loneliness and my own is instantly forgotten.
she looks great. when i visited with the girls this morning she smiled and laughed. mae complimented her just-washed hair and she beamed. clara snuggled with her and she quietly (almost imperceptibly) wept. she is making it and doing so with style.
two more debridements this week (8th and 9th.) as dr. ahn (the third member of the surgical team) put it, "we are following a mental curve" toward the skin graft and closure on monday. by that, he means with each successive debridement, they are seeing less and less dead muscle and are projecting the leg will be "clear" on monday. there is continued hope for recovery of use because all four muscle compartments are still intact and "continuous".
dr. ahn, like the others, has been informative and helpful. he was straight forward when he answered kristen's questions: they still don't know the cause of kristen's condition (one surprising speculation is that the bacterial infection may have been opportunistic rather than causal!); and there is no guarantee after closure that there won't be continued problems (i.e. a possibility of more necrosis and/or surgery) but the goal is to close only when that chance is as small as possible.
"we still don't know exactly why this happened. but your leg is getting better each time we look at it. it may be getting better because of what we're doing, in spite of what we're doing or regardless of what we're doing. we're going to keep doing what we're doing until it's better and hopefully we'll have some answers soon."
that is very close to a direct quote from dr. ahn. one might think this would be painfully frustrating, but after all we've been through, "your leg is getting better" is all we need to hear.
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Dear Ben and Kristen, Thanks for the posts, when I can't get through, this is our connection. It has been a long hard time for Kristen, for you, and for the girls even though they are well cared for. And now, prayers have been answered, energy received, love shared and kristen is getting better. I continue to send healing light and energy, love and prayers. Kristen & Ben stay strong and open to the energy, help, love and prayers coming to you. Know there are so many folks out here offering all we can. It is our purpose in life to give and to receive. Love, mom Caryl
ReplyDeleteKristen, missing you a great deal and am so heartened to read that things are looking up! Hoping to find you on the other end of my work computer and to hear your voice on the phone some morning very soon. Glad to see you obviously have a lot of love and support to help you through your ordeal. Be well and take it slow.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Doug Whiteman (using my partner's Blogger account)
Dear Kristen,
ReplyDeleteThis is certainly optimistic news, and I'm so, so, so glad to read it. It makes my day. It will make my week, honestly. I can't imagine how sad and angry and confused and scared you have felt during the past month ... but you have amazed me with your courage and grace and spirit and strength.
I'm going to try to call in the next day or two. I wanted to this weekend, but my mom was visiting, and I want to make sure to have the time to really focus on our conversation.
We'll talk soon, friend.
Much love,
Tara
P.S. We did a lot of driving this weekend, with my mom in town, and every time I put Hannah in her carseat, I covered up her legs with the darling pink and orange blanket and thought of you.
P.P.S. Ben, thanks again for an informative post. You might have a future as a journalist -- you are an impressive note-taker in these conversations with the doctors!
Hi Kristen,
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful way to start a dreary Monday morning by reading the wonderful news that you're doing so well! You're in our thoughts and we're all looking forward to seeing your smiling face back at work. Stay strong and keep fighting the good fight!
JoAnn L.
Ben and Kristen,
ReplyDeleteThinking of you this Monday morning and hoping for another good day! This is encouraging news. I know this has been unbelievably painful and confusing four weeks, but I'm heartened to know that she's getting such good care and they've taken a special interest in her case.
Sending my love and prayers - Erin